Ok, so My goal to post everyday isn’t going so well this year. The challenges of having two teenagers on the autism spectrum in the house are, well…overwhelming at times. We have seen regression in many areas…behavior issues we have not seen in several years have returned. To say I am exhausted would be a VAST understatement!
Today as I logged in to Facebook, I saw a Blog post that struck a chord with me, Hate the Autism/ Hate the Child? It got me thinking, and I mean REALLY thinking. I have said in the past that my kids don’t need “fixing”, that they are not Broke, just wired different, and I stand by that statement. Does that mean though, that I LIKE every behavior? No…There ARE things they do that I would change. My Heart aches when my son can’t tell me what is bothering Him, and yet I KNOW something is wrong. And that gut wrenching fear that hits when He decides to take off from school, church, or home…yeah I could live without that. It is no different than when I tell my youngest to stop whining, or some other behavior she should not be doing. I Guess what I am saying is this…I Love ALL three of my kids, in SPITE of Autism, in SPITE of those behaviors that I don’t like. God made them EACH Special, and regardless of their challenges, they are ALL Blessings. There are days when my Patience is SHOT, when I want to scream ” I Can’t TAKE IT ANYMORE!”, when I just want to go off and hide somewhere.
Yes, There are GOOD things loving a child with Autism has taught me…like how to appreciate the simple things, to take life at a slower pace, the value of a smile, a hug….One of my favcorite quotes is…
“You can complain because roses have thorns,
or you can rejoice because thorns have roses”
I have learned that wether it is with my kids, in my marraige, or in life in general If all I focus on is the Negative, I am going to be miserable, but I Can’t ignore the Bad all together either. Sometimes to see the Rainbow, one has to go through the storm first. This past weekend, my Husband and I celebrated our 16th Wedding Anniversary. The road has not been easy, we have had our share of challenges, fights, and struggles, but we have learned a lot along the way….
Lessons learned in the 16 years I have been married to the AMAZING Man God Brought into my life….
1.) NEVER fight in front of the kids
2.) I MUST respect my Husband and Honor HIS Leadership. God placed Him as the Head of Our Household.
3.) HONEST Open communication is KEY.
4.) Resorting to name calling and fighting dirty won’t accomplish anything.
5.) Don’t go to bed angry.
6.) Even after 16 years, It is still fun to flirt with my husband.
7.) No Matter how hard things seem, He is always there for me, I can depend on Him.
8.) Without Trust, things unravel quickly.
9.) I get more help with the kids if when He gets off work I don’t ambush Him as soon as He walks in the door. Give Him time to decompress first.
10.) He needs “Alone time” as much as I do.
11.) Submitting to His leadership does not make me weak, It is what God called me to do, and it actually makes me stronger. (Ephesians 5:22-33)
12.) He can’t read my mind…If something is bothering me I need to TELL him, without backing him into a corner.
13.) He worries about the kids as much as I do, He just expresses it differently
14.) There is nothing wrong with being married for 16 years and still acting like newlyweds!!
15.) Even though I am a stay at home mom, that doesn’t mean I should stop dressing up for my husband.
16.) I Love Him more today than I did when we met. The road has not been easy, but Walking it with Him by my side makes it all worthwhile.
Our anniversary is April 6th….
16 years ago a Marine from Alabama and a Marine from Upstate NY said “I do” in North Carolina…
I Love you “Bama”,
For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part
I am so Thankful God Brought you into my world in the middle of the desert in California!