A Legacy of Love, a Lifetime of Prayer

Note , This may seem scattered and random, and should have been posted in April. For reasons hinted at in “Regaining Strength” , i never finished it, but am posting it now, because…even in it’s raw, scattered form, needs to be said. and besides, since when is grief ever “neat and organized” anyway?

There is a group of people in my life who never gave up on me…

even through my wild rebellious years as a teenager,

no matter how angry I got, or how far out of control I spun,

They never stopped loving me, never stopped praying for me….

This is for them….

My Grandparents,

My Godparents,

my Mom and Dad ,

my siblings

The entire Jones/ Handy Family ( in my heart my 2nd Family).

I know that without all the love and non stop prayers,

my life would be totally different than what it is today,

and I thank God daily for blessing me with so many people who made sure I had firmly grounded roots,

but still gave me wings so I could soar….

The adults gave me roots and wings…

The kids filled my childhood with Friendship,

LOTS of memories,

They say there are people who leave footprints on your heart…

These are people who have left more than footprints…

This IS my Family, and I am Forever Blessed and Thankful….

Thankful for the Love,

the Laughter,

The memories,

the Friendship,

the Prayers and so much more…

Ok, this is for all you people who avoid the Camera,or hide behind it instead of putting yourself IN photos….

myself included…

There are people who love You who will want Photos of you to look back on when You are gone.

Don’t make them wish they had more Photos to cherish.

Finding myself wishing i had more of two special people in my life, both of whom has already left this earth.

This Photo is the only one I have, that I KNOW of….

My Goal from this point on is to put ME in more photos with my kids….with the people I love.

This week has been one of reflecting, remembering, rejoicing, and mourning. On Thursday (April 11,2013), I wrote this on Facebook ” As The Lord prepares to call a Precious Very Special Lady home, My heart cries, and rejoices at the same time. You see this dear Lady is my Godmother, and played a HUGE Role in my life. Her Love and Prayers, even when I was being unlovable are part of why I am the woman I am today……I Can’t help wondering if she knows how deeply she impacted my life. I regret not telling her often enough…and though I can’t make it to NY, I want to say THANK YOU, I Love You, and will never forget you!”

April 13,2013: At approximately 12:30 this morning my Godmother, Janice Handy went home to be with the LORD. She was a wonderful, gracious lady and taught us all very well how to survive in the world, but mostly how to live a life of faith. She fought the good fight, she won the race. She sees Jesus face to face. She was one of the Most Influential women in my Life and I am Thankful and blessed that my Parents chose her and her husband as my Godparents.

She leaves behind 25 grandchildren and 48 great grandchildren, three who predeceased her. She leaves behind a legacy of faith.

My Godfather went to be with the Lord my Senior Year of High school. At approximately 12:30 this morning My Godmother Joined him. When I think about the legacy they left, the Impact they had on my life, I count myself Very Blessed.

To Quote My Friend, Their Granddaughter, Jennifer: “My grandfather once felt that he was going to leave nothing behind for his family when it was his time to pass away. In reading all the posts here today, it is obvious that money cannot buy what he & my grandmother left behind. In the 65 years since the day they married, they had 6 children, who in turn had 25, who in turn have had 48. 3 of these met Jesus before they did. Most of these know Jesus as their Savior. Keith & Janice Handy were successful in passing on their faith and their love of family. What could be better than a legacy like this? I should be so blessed to do the same. “

They Truly Built a Household of Faith.

Of Knights and Dragons

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month.

here are a few facts:
it is not rare – 1 in 330 children develop cancer before the age of 19
• 1 in 5 children diagnosed with cancer dies as a result of the disease
• Childhood Cancer is the #1 disease killer of children – more than asthma, cystic fibrosis, diabetes, & pediatric AIDS combined

You may think “what does this have to do with Autism?” and I would have to say “very little” but, I am writing this post about a Precious little boy who took my world and turned it upside down, who stole my heart, and who was a HUGE part of my children’s lives….

“How lucky I am to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye to” ~Unknown~

Some friendships leave such a HUGE Print on Our Hearts…

The Photo above is of my youngest Daughter and her Cherished Friend Barrett, who she affectionately claimed as her little brother 5 years ago. This Precious child stole my heart instantly when they moved in across the street from us. For 5 years I watched as a friendship blossomed and grew. I Took TONS of Photos through the years. Little did I know JUST how precious those Photos would become to my daughter, and to me.

In 2010 Barrett was Diagnosed with Cancer. For two years He fought, Bravely, never once complaining. He was always more concerned with how those around Him were doing. This sweet boy Lived Life to the fullest, Jumping in Leaves, Riding His Bike, Laughing, Playing as Hard as He could. In November of 2011 the news came that the tumor had returned and that it was most likely terminal this time. I remember sitting my daughter down and talking with her then about death, and trying to prepare her for the day when she may have to say goodbye. It was one of the hardest conversations I have EVER had to have. We Prayed hard, and even though by this point, we had moved to a new house, we made sure to make the moments count. We continued making memories, and learned to cherish EVERY Moment. August 2012, My heart shattered. The news came that there was nothing more the Doctors could do. As I struggled to find the words to have another conversation with my children, we made arrangements for a play date, and my princess spent an afternoon with Barrett. It was to be their Last day together, and It was a Good day. A Week Later, On August 26,2012 Barrett went to Heaven. My Heart was shattered, and I can’t even BEGIN to imagine the pain His Mother is going through. My thoughts though, IMMEDIATELY went to the kids. Including my own three, there is a group of kids that Love Barrett deeply….

Let’s Call them the Knights of Honeysuckle.

As The Leaves begin to fall, My Mind drifts back to the days on Honeysuckle, my yard full of kids and laughter. Whether they were jumping in Piles of Leaves, or playing Kickball, Fighting Dragons, or playing Tag, This group of kids always found a way to include everyone, regardless of Age, disability, color. The Memories Made in the time we lived there will be forever cherished, imprinted on my heart.

There is a Very Precious thing that happens when Children’s Laughter, and Imagination rules…

When a clump of trees becomes a Fort….

When Dragons and Robots appear and the Castle must be defended…

When the Older kids drop everything to Teach a Younger child how to Ride a scooter….

I am SO Very Blessed and Thankful for each and every Precious Moment we had with Barrett

For the Memories Made

For the Once in a Lifetime Friendship my Youngest child and Barrett have ( yes I say HAVE, because she will NEVER forget Him)

For the Smiles and Laughter….

For The Hugs….

For the Beauty of Childhood…

For the Delight in the simple things Like Digging a Hole….

I Could Keep Going, But My Point here is…

Cherish EVERY Moment with those You Love.

Take time to enjoy the simple things….

Hug Your Children Often…

Make time to Play WITH them….

and Let them Be Little!

A Footprint, A ripple, A Ding…what’s your impact?

I will be the first to admit I usually do not get caught up in all the hullabaloo when a celebrity dies. Frankly, most of them are not the types of role models I would want for my kids anyway. My brother said it best on Facebook today……

“I wonder what this world would be like if people paid as much attention to every soldier, firefighter, cop, or medic killed serving their country or community, as much as people care about Steve jobs or whatever other big name has passed? Don’t get me wrong, He was a great man, I don’t much care for apple as the company is today, but he was indeed a visionary and a driven man, however, my point remains. Oh well, at least he was famous for something beyond being famous, perhaps now we can stop hearing about the Michael Jackson trial??” ~D.C.S.

and I agree with him…well mostly. This was my response on Facebook: “I agree with you 100% Kiddo! The main reason I even KNOW who Steve Jobs is ( yeah, ok I admit I am not a techie) is because of the HUGE Impact He made on the Non verbal…Autism community…His work has given so many who didn’t have it before a voice, especially in the past couple of years with the introduction of the I-pad and the apps that have been proven to reach kids with disabilities like never before…and for that, this momma is forever thankful. and yes, to stop hearing about the Michael Jackson trial would be nice! LOL”

But it goes deeper than that. As a whole, our sense of priorities is Topsy turvy. The media drones on to exhaustion about this celebrity or that….but we don’t ever hear about all the unsung heros, the true role models, soldiers, firefighters, cops, or medics, and maybe they prefer it that way? after all part of what makes them such excellent role models is that MOST of them will tell you in a heartbeat “I am no hero, I was just doing my job”.

All this got me thinking about the impact we leave behind. My thoughts turned to my Godfather, Keith Raymond Handy, who went home to be with our Father in heaven in January 1993 after 66 years (12/26/26-1/29/93). It has been 18 years, and yet the impacts this man of Faith had on my life are still there. The Value of a good strong hug ( not one of those small squeezes, but a good bear hug), and a smile, the importance of prayer, and the value of family. His death was one of the hardest I have ever had to face, and did not face for the longest time. I was a senior in High school at the time, and I did not know HOW to deal with it. I locked it away.

This brings me to the next role model whose death I had to face, My grandpa Settle who went home to Heaven in February of 2006. Grandpa’s “footprint on my heart” is HUGE. The memories go deep. A Love of all things History, a true understanding of “His eye is on the Sparrow”, The value of a kind word and a smile to brighten somebodies day. I can remember thinking to myself after my husband and I got married, and I saw my grandpa still looking at my grandmother like he looked at her in the photos I had seen of their wedding day, was “wow, I want THAT…a love for the ages, a Marraige that can stand the trials of life and the test of time.” truly a rare thing these days….

Now, it is 2009…and I am faced again with saying goodbye, to my other grandpa. This man taught me the value of the spoken word, the joy of a game like chess or scrabble, and the value of making time to sit for hours and work on a puzzle with someone, that the reward is not the end result of the game or puzzle, but the time spent.

You see, it’s all about how we LIVE, that effects what we leave behind. My thoughts travel to a young man who left his mark on the world in a HUGE way. He was taken home to be with God at the young age of 21. His lifesong is still singing…His witness for Christ still shining. He is deeply missed by all who knew and love him, but at the age of 21, he had already made such a HUGE Impact on this world.

All this brings me back around to Steve Jobs. Why do I even take notice? what makes him different than any other “celebrity”? I take notice because this man, and his company have made a way, via technology for parents of children with special needs to communicate, to bridge a gap that for whatever reason exists on a communication level. He left an impact, a footprint because he has given to families who may never hear a spoken word from their child, a way to communicate, Apps to make their lives a little bit easier ( and ok, yes, I know , The I-pad and its apps may be out of reach for some…my own kid included) but, that doesn’t change the impact this has had on the community at large.

“Almost everything–

all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure–

these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.

Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know

to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.

There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

–Steve Jobs

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

~~Steve Jobs~~

To the Charlie Sheens and Lindsy Lohans of this world…..stay away from my kids, they don’t need role models like you. I will do everything I can to keep them grounded, to teach them the value of a smile, a kind word, a prayer and a hug, to remind them that its the Soldiers, Firemen, Cops, and Medics who keep us safe, it’s the Farmers who work tirelessly, its common everyday people who give their all. It’s the dreamers like Steve Jobs, and Albert Einstein, Brahms and Mozart, who truly make a difference and will be long remembered. To quote My Friend Jess over at DOAM: “Steve once said, “I want to put a ding in the universe.” I hope as he closed his eyes last night, he left us knowing that he did. He sure did.” What’s Your impact?

This is my prayer for my own life…

“I may not be every mother’s dream for her little girl
And my face may not grace the mind of everyone in the world
But thats alright as long as I can have one wish, I pray
When people look inside my life, I wanna hear them say

She’s got her father’s eyes
Her father’s eyes
Eyes that find the good in things
When good is not around
Eyes that find the source of help, when help just can’t be found
Eyes full of compassion, seein’ every pain
Knowing what you’re going through, and feelin’ it the same

Just like my father’s eyes
my father’s eyes
my father’s eyes
Just like my father’s eyes

On that day when we will pay for all the deeds we’ve done
Good and bad they’ll all be had to see by everyone
And when you’re called to stand and tell just what you saw in me
More than anything I know, I want your words to be

She had her father’s eyes, her father’s eyes
eyes that found the good in things when good was not around
eyes that found the source of help when help would not be found
Eyes full of compassion, seein’ every pain
Knowin’ what you’re goin’ through and feelin it the same

Just like my father’s eyes,
My father’s eyes,
My father’s eyes,
Just like my father’s eyes,
My father’s eyes,
My father’s eyes”~Amy Grant

“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes…

the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules…

You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them,

but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things…

they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones,

we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world,

are the ones who do.”

~Steve Jobs~

Rest in Peace

Only a Boy Named David

A Year and 2 days ago, I got a text message from my brother, David, to pray. It is hard to grasp that David T. Camp left this world almost a year ago, but the events of June 2010 changed my life forever.

Here is an excerpt from what I wrote three days after David Camp was called home to the Lord:

On Weds. June 16,2010 at 2:47pm I received a Text message from my youngest brother who is an EMT saying that someone we know was badly injured in a Car wreck. being Human, a part of me immediately started to worry as my mind raced as to who it could be, but also began to pray. I prayed for whoever it might be, and I began to pray for my brother. As I prayed, my sister called me and told me who ….David Camp, the Youngest son of the Pastors of my family’s church in Upstate NY, and a close friend of our Brother’s. It is no coincidence to me that BOTH of the young men I was praying for that Day are named David…One was fighting for His life…and one fighting to save His life. As I Prayed, the story of David and Goliath came to mind. (You can read the full post HERE )

The song I Kept hearing as I prayed a year ago, came to mind again today as I read my brother’s status on Facebook…..

“a year ago today, things were normal, a year and 2 days, the tones drop for an mva, and there’s no going back. you are missed DTC, you may be gone from this earth, but you roll on every call I go on bro”

Only a Boy Named David

“Only a boy named David
Only a little sling
Only a boy named David
But he could pray and sing
Only a boy named David
Only a rippling brook
Only a boy named David
But five little stones he took.

And one little stone went in the sling
And the sling went round and round
And one little stone went in the sling
And the sling went round and round
And round and round
And round and round
And round and round and round
And one little stone went up in the air
And the giant came tumbling down.”

I am quite certain that when my Brother started the Pray for David Camp Group on Facebook a year ago, he had NO Idea the impact it would have, that over 7,000 people from all over the world would come together, whether they knew David Camp or not, and stand in the Gap for the Camp Family. The Impact stretched from the USA, to Rwanda, to China, to Kuwait, all over the world; We saw lives changed, Faith restored, Relationships mended. Ultimately God gets the Glory, but he used two young men named David to Rock the world, He continues to use these two young men in ways NONE of us ever could have dreamed. One of them still walks among us, serving as an EMT. The other is dancing in Heaven, but His life-song lives on here on earth.

1 Timothy 4:12 (New International Version)

Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an
example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.

1 Peter 2:9 (New International Version)

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

Rest in Peace, David Thomas Camp ~1989-2010

How do I help them to say Goodbye?

It is amazing how a four legged furry critter can win over our hearts, and become such a part of our Family. Our Dog, Fang, Died last night. Telling my children that He was gone was the hardest thing I have ever had to do as their Mother.

I remember back to when I was in high school. My dog, Sunshine was a Collie , Shepard mix. My Parents had taken Her in when some missionary friends of ours needed to find her a home. We Lived on a Dairy Farm so we had plenty of room for her to run. Sunny was a smart dog, she would stop and listen for cars before crossing the road, and it was not unusual to see her running along behind my dad as he drove the tractor up the road. Every day she would meet me at the mailbox when the bus got home from school in the afternoon. The way our house sat, you had to cross the road to get to the mailbox. One afternoon, sunny was getting older, and her hearing was not so good, and she did not hear the car coming, and got hit, but still managed to get across the road to the mailbox, and waited for me to get off the bus. She died in my arms. It took me a LONG time to let another dog into my heart…..then Fang came along

Fang won me over, the way He protected and watched over me and the kids when my husband was gone for Military training.He was patient and loving with Dak, would let the boy do almost ANYTHING. When Dak was a toddler, They would wrestle, Dak would use Fang as a pillow, but when Fang got tired, He would put His paws on Dak’s shoulders, sit the boy down, and walk off to lay down somewhere. The connection between Dak and Fang was like nothing I had ever seen. Fang seemed to KNOW when Dak was not feeling well, would go lay down outside His bedroom door , or climb in the bed or on the couch with Him. It was almost eerie sometimes though. You see, Fang was our Miracle, He was the runt of the litter, stillborn, but they were able to bring him back. He had vision problems, hearing problems, was TERRIFIED of water, and had seizures. The scary thing was this, I started to notice a connection…Fang would have a seizure, and within 24 hours, Dak would have one. Yes, I had a special needs Dog, and He stole my heart….

Lord, help me find a way to help Dak understand….this morning before school “Mom, I go let fang in.” “Baby, you can’t let Fang in, He is in Heaven” “Fang gone? Uh oh, Daddy go get Fang and bring him home safe” Oh my heart hurts…..

Fang was my oldest Daughter’s best friend…her Puppy. He would curl up in her lap and listen to her for hours on end, and she spoiled Him ROTTEN. when I told her last night that Fang had died, she fell apart, understandably. She was the one who would take Him for walks, He would look for her every night, and would whine when she had to go to bed. Last night she wrote a letter to another dog, Lady, who we had when she was in kindergarten…..

Dear Lady,

I am sad to say that Fang died today, April 12,2011. You left too ong ago to know him now, but Fang was my Puppy. He would sing with my Oboe, and ate my pizza crusts. Why you went, I don’t know. What I do know is that Fang was loved by everyone and loved everyone. The neighborhood is going to miss Him. We have friends not in Montgomery who will miss Him. To the other kids he was like a giant teddy bear.

The point is that Fang lived a full life but He will still be loved by those who knew Him. I may be sad about this, but at least He is out of His pain.

Sincerly,

Sara

I think Sara summed it up best last night when she said…”All three of us, Dak, Bug, and I, needed him. Bug ’cause he reminded her of dad. Dak ’cause, well who knows what. Me ’cause we helped each other out through the tough times”

To my youngest, Fang was one of the few dogs she was NOT afraid of. He would help her get through the times when Daddy had to go away for Training. She would curl up on the floor with Him and watch TV, read Him stories, and He would even get treated to the occasional Tea Party Invite. When I told her last night, she cried for three hours, and wrote Fang the following Letter……

“Dear Fang,

I miss you Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Very much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did you have to go so soon? I Love you Very Very Very Very Very Much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love,

Shawna“

I wish I could take their pain away. I know that death is a part of life, as is heartache, but Oh how I wish I could make this all better.

RIP Fang, we Love you

Thank you for the time you gave us….

Thank you for your love and devotion to my kids…

thank you for all those times you licked my feet….

Forever in our hearts

*For more about Fang, see my Snapshots Post:

Autism Awareness~30 Days of snapshots: Day 12

Grief, anger, Faith

It has been almost 2 months since tragedy turned my world, and the worlds of many close to me upside down. Many of us have been going through the grief process in different ways, and for different reasons….the two things we all have in common are that we all want David back….and that we all know and love the Lord.

As I struggle through trying to understand this heartache, a few things have been coming more and more clear to me, and many questions have come up as well. How could God take him from us? I have days when I am angry….I just don’t understand. David had a wonderful girlfriend…one of those “once in a lifetime” “This is forever” kind of loves. His Family is one of the strongest I know…Their faith through all this has been awe inspiring. so that brings me back to being angry….is it ok to be angry?

As I struggle with this, a few sections of scripture come to mind. …

Luke 22:31-34 (New International Version)

³¹“Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift youas wheat. ³²But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”

³³But he replied, “Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death.”

³⁴Jesus answered, “I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me.”

Peter Denies Jesus three times, and then returns to the feet of Jesus….and Jesus welcomes Him back into the fold with open arms…..

John 21:15-17 (New International Version)

Jesus Reinstates Peter

¹⁵When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?”
“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”

¹⁶Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you truly love me?”
He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”

¹⁷ The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.

Jesus, on the Cross, Cries out asking why God had Forsaken Him….God’s Own son bore our rejection and pain. This is important to remember because not only did Jesus bear all of our sins on the cross…He also took upon him all our sickness, or heartache, or fears, or pain, our rejection…the night before His betrayal and death, he spent all night crying out for God to take this cup from him, pleading with God to not make him do what he knew was ahead of him.

Mark 14:32-38 (New International Version)

Gethsemane

³²They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, “Sit here while I pray.” ³³He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. ³⁴“My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he said to them. “Stay here and keep watch.”

³⁵Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. ³⁶“Abba,Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.”

³⁷Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Simon,” he said to Peter, “are you asleep? Could you not keep watch for one hour? ³⁸Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.”

Matthew 27:45-46 (New International Version)

The Death of Jesus

⁴⁵From the sixth hour until the ninth hour darkness came over all the land. ⁴⁶About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi,lama sabachthani?”—which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

Thomas Doubted that Jesus had really risen, and yet He was not pushed away either, but welcomed back into the fold with loving arms.

John 20:24-29 (New International Version)

Jesus Appears to Thomas

²⁴Now Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. ²⁵So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!”
But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it.”

²⁶A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” ²⁷Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”

²⁸Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!”

²⁹Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

looking at the verses listed above, I draw the conclusion that doubt, angry, rejection, and even denial are all part of human nature, and that as part of a process as long as we return to the place where we fall at the feet of Jesus and repent, and go deeper, He will not push us away, but welcome us back with open arms. Even in our darkest hours He does not leave us. He hears our cries, feels our pain, sees our tears. All this He already defeated on the cross, and yet sometimes it is part of what we have to face to get to a place where we are ready to follow Him . We may not always understand why things happen that cause us to suffer, but I know this much, even in my pain, that God will never give us more to bear than we can handle, and He will be with us every step of the way….we just have to come to a place where we are willing to “let go and let God” . As long as we are trying to do things ourselves, we will never fully understand the fullness of His love. I have seen this as I struggle with the daily battles I face with raising a child with special needs. I have had to face this in dealing with losing people I love….whether it was in High school when my God-father died suddenly, and I puled away from God and from everyone close to me……and entered some of the darkest years of my life…..or when my Aunt was killed by a drunk driver and I got Angry, VERY Angry, or now as I try to understand why we have lost such a wonderful young man who had his whole life ahead of him. I grieve not because He is in heaven, no I rejoice with him for that…but I grieve for Our loss here on earth, but I also find comfort, and rest in the verses below…..and I will leave you with that as a Final thought for today….

Romans 8:28-39 (New International Version)

More Than Conquerors

²⁸And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. ²⁹For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. ³⁰And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

³¹What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³²He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? ³³Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. ³⁴Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. ³⁵Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ³⁶As it is written:
“For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”³⁷No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Poems that have gotten me through some of the darkest hours of my life

The poems below helped me when both of my grandpa’s passed away….hoping they will provide some comfort now…..

R.I.P David Thomas Camp

1989-2010

I am not there

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the snow on the mountain’s rim,
I am the laughter in children’s eyes,
I am the sand at the water’s edge,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle Autumn rain,
When you awaken in the morning’s hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight,
I am the star that shines at night,
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die.

Author Unknown

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When you feel Lonely

When You feel Lonely
When a person you love passes away
Look to the night sky on a clear day.
The star that to you, appears to be bright,
Will be your loved one,
Looking upon you during the night.
The lights of heaven are what shows through
As your loved one watches all that you do.
When you feel lonely for the one that you love,
Look to the Heavens in the night sky above.

Author unknown

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And God Said..

Posted on the wall at the
Oklahoma City bombing site
By K. C. and Myke Kuzmic
Stockton, CA

I said, “God, I hurt.”
And God said, “I know.”

I said, “God, I cry a lot.”
And God said, “That is why I gave you tears.”

I said, “God, I am so depressed.”
And God said, “That is why I gave you Sunshine.”

I said, “God, life is so hard.”
And God said, “That is why I gave you loved ones.”

I said, “God, my loved one died.”
And God said, “So did mine.”

I said, “God, it is such a loss.”
And God said, “I saw my son nailed to a cross.”

I said, “God, but your loved one lives.”
And God said, “So does yours.”

I said, “God, where are they now?”
And God said, “Mine is on My right and yours is in the Light.”

I said, “God, it hurts.”
And God said, “I know.”

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Footprints In The Sand

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord.

Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; one belonging to him, and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of his life.

This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it. “Lord, You said that once I decided to follow You, You would walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times of my life there is only one set of footprints. I don’t understand why when I needed You most You would leave me.”

The Lord replied, “My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints it is then that I carried you.”