Regaining strength

I have not written in FAR too long. My world seemed to be spiraling out of control, and feeling overwhelmed i lost sight of any positive, of the inspiration and lessons i do my best to look for in the midst of life’s storms. I felt that if i had nothing positive to say, then why write? I am not ready to go into all the details , but the long and the short of it is i was sinking…deeper and deeper into depression. I put my writing on the shelf, and set my camera beside it. Sure, i continued to take photos of the kids sporting events, of the obvious highlight moments, but i lost sight of the every day joys.

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Things really came to a head this past 6 months. Depression took a physical toll, and in May i had surgery. The Physical limitations only increased my depression, yeah i know, vicious cycle. Thing is, as a stay at home mom, its MY job to take care of the kids, and the house, and the grocery shopping, and….you get the idea. well all of the sudden I couldn’t do any of that, and i felt i was failing my kids, my husband, myself.

I am in the process of climbing out of a deep hole, of mending things that have been damaged, and of moving forward. The storm clouds are breaking, and the sun it beginning to shine again.  I am dusting off my virtual pen, and have picked my camera back up off the shelf….

Spiraling downward,retreating inward

hitting bottom,something snaps

a wake up call to stand and fight

a forgotten corner of her mind

a well of strength within she finds

shakily rising, tears falling

cleansing tears of a heart on overload

washing over her like a flood

shoulders back, feet planted firmly

her faith was shaken, her foundation rattled

and yet she stands

another battle wages between heart and mind

This too shall pass

as the storm clouds clear

she stands, scarred but stronger

the rose once again rising from the ashes

~~R.E.B , July 7,2013~~

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6 thoughts on “Regaining strength

  1. Obviously I don’t know you, but I do know how seriously depression affects everything, incuding parenting. I’m hoping healing is in the near future for you so that you can fully enjoy life again.

  2. You are in my thoughts and prayers. My husband suffers from depression and anxiety. It is so hard. So incredibly hard. Please be strong and keep on keeping on. Find what works and helps you and use it! Know you are not alone in this journey and also that you can overcome! You are a great mommy and love your kids with all your heart (it’s seen in your blog) 🙂 and welcome back. Can’t wait to see some more fabulous pictures 🙂

  3. Absolutely beautiful! So glad to see you dusting off your keyboard, filling your pens with ink and sharpening your pencils. Take a notepad with you everywhere you go…EVERYWHERE. Life is beautiful, the world…full of inspiration. Jot it all down as you see it…as you feel it. Then write it. 🙂 Thanks for sharing this with us!

  4. Thank you for sharing your story! You are not alone! So many of us parents (especially those of us with special needs kiddos) struggle with depression, anxiety, PTSD…it can be difficult. Overwhelmingly difficult. Know that there are others out there that suffer similarly. We are here for you. For each other! (((((hugs)))))

  5. Pingback: A Legacy of Love, a Lifetime of Prayer | Footprints in Time

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