I have not written in FAR too long. My world seemed to be spiraling out of control, and feeling overwhelmed i lost sight of any positive, of the inspiration and lessons i do my best to look for in the midst of life’s storms. I felt that if i had nothing positive to say, then why write? I am not ready to go into all the details , but the long and the short of it is i was sinking…deeper and deeper into depression. I put my writing on the shelf, and set my camera beside it. Sure, i continued to take photos of the kids sporting events, of the obvious highlight moments, but i lost sight of the every day joys.
Things really came to a head this past 6 months. Depression took a physical toll, and in May i had surgery. The Physical limitations only increased my depression, yeah i know, vicious cycle. Thing is, as a stay at home mom, its MY job to take care of the kids, and the house, and the grocery shopping, and….you get the idea. well all of the sudden I couldn’t do any of that, and i felt i was failing my kids, my husband, myself.
I am in the process of climbing out of a deep hole, of mending things that have been damaged, and of moving forward. The storm clouds are breaking, and the sun it beginning to shine again. I am dusting off my virtual pen, and have picked my camera back up off the shelf….
Spiraling downward,retreating inward
hitting bottom,something snaps
a wake up call to stand and fight
a forgotten corner of her mind
a well of strength within she finds
shakily rising, tears falling
cleansing tears of a heart on overload
washing over her like a flood
shoulders back, feet planted firmly
her faith was shaken, her foundation rattled
and yet she stands
another battle wages between heart and mind
This too shall pass
as the storm clouds clear
she stands, scarred but stronger
the rose once again rising from the ashes
~~R.E.B , July 7,2013~~