I realize I have not posted in a few days, and that puts me behind on my 30 days snapshot series, but I am feeling rather overwhelmed lately. We have gotten through the first of two weeks of Daddy being gone, and Dak is starting to come “unglued”. We have done ballgames, and church events, and managed to make it to everything on our schedule, but Dak said last night he is DONE.
We have gotten through field trips for school, and a LONG night of severe weather threats, church events, Easter, My Youngest’s Birthday, Ball games for all three kids, softball practices for both girls. Each night it has been tears and “Miss Daddy” wails from both Dak and my youngest. Weds. Night, April 27,2011 was the worst, Our entire state was under seige by Mother Nature. Dak as I mentioned in an earlier post, does NOT do severe weather. Thankfully, the area where we live only saw rain, but the Northern half of our state has been just devastated. It is truly heartbreaking. As the death toll climbs over 200, I find myself counting my blessings, yet utterly and completely exhausted. Last night my oldest had a softball game, and while It broke my heart to do so, we dropped her off at the ballfield and came home. Dak simply could not handle sitting and watching the game. I cried all the way home. We ate dinner, and headed back to the ballfield with 30 minutes left in her game. My youngest played with the other younger siblings at the ballfield, but Dak just wanted to run….He ignored the limits I set for Him, refused to listen. When I attempted to enforce a time out, He slapped me across the face and took off running for the parking lot.
I have been blessed with friends helping me throughout the week, getting the girls to their events, but last night, I had no help, and I felt so alone. It broke my heart that my oldest had nobody cheering for HER, sure there were people there watching the game, but nobody there just for HER. It Hurt that Dak just wants Daddy home, and we still have another week to go. I hurt for all the people in the northern part of my state who have lost everything in weds. night’s Tornado outbreak.
Tonight, my oldest has her first dance. I am excited for her, and I hope that those who have promised to help me tonight will help make sure her night is a night fit for a princess, and that somehow every moment possible is captured on camera so my husband can see it all.
There was a time when I would apoligize for not keeping up with my 30 days of snapshots posts, but I am not going to this time, just simply state that I just can’t do it. I am overwhelmed, I am exhausted, I miss my Husband. He is my rock, my back-up, and I am doing the best that I can, but I just can’t do it all.
I am thankful that we are half way through, and as we mark another day off on the Calendar tonight, I hope that Dak sleeps, that Sara has an enchanted night, and that Shawna enjoys time with a favorite cousin, and that all three of my children realize just how precious they are and that mommy is exhausted because they come first, and because I love them more than words can say. I Know that God will never give me more than I can Handle, and That HE is in control, and I am leaning on Him for strength, and Patience. I also know that sometimes I need to just fall apart and Cry, and that is where I am at. I know I am blessed, I know God is with me, I know all of this, but when Exhaustion strikes, the tears fall, and I need to vent.