Writing has always been an outlet for me, a stress reliever, a breath of fresh air, and so, here I am. I don’t right because I want anyone to feel sorry for me…I write because if I don’t, I will explode! I write in hopes that maybe somehow, my rollercoaster ride will help some other mom feel less alone.
This past two weeks have been a HUGE Rollercoaster ( more so than normal due to my Husband being gone). When He gets home, He is going to find a Bazillion Photos to look through, and I am gonna hand off the kids and RUN! ( LOL J/K though, the idea is not a bad one :P)
We have survived two weeks of non-stop activity, softball games, softball practices, Prom, Tornado threats, Baseball Games, School field trips, Easter Festivities, My Youngest Daughter’s Birthday….phew, No wonder I am exhausted!!!!
Dak informed me last Wednesday, as the weather man talked about severely dangerous weather moving into our state, that he wanted Daddy home NOW! Of course, due to the fact that teleportation only exits in movies and Virtual reality, I could not make this happen. As a result, He has declared war on my sanity. Refusing to listen, meltdowns and acting out at home, at school, on the bus, at the ballfield…everywhere. I get that He misses Daddy, and we have been marking off the days on a calendar ( which USUALLY works) , but I have come to the conclusion, that Daddy being gone during Ball season is an all around BAD Idea. We have had little to NO down-time. We are ALL exhausted. we ALL miss Daddy. It’s just, Dak is expressing this Louder than the rest of us! He has declared every day this week, as we prepare to head out the door, that he is DONE! NO school! NO Ball! NO church!
The girls are feeling it too. Shawna is clingier than glue, and has cried every night. I think it has been hardest on her, to be honest. it was HER Birthday Daddy missed this year. Daddy is coaching HER softball team, and has missed several games. When Daddy was gone for 4 weeks after Hurricane Katrina, she was only 6 years old. And Sara, well Daddy missed her FIRST Dance , which also happened to be the 8th grade prom. She has had to deal with nobody cheering for HER specifically at her softball games, because her brother can’t sit through games that START at his bedtime. Her “teenager attitude” has flared up BIG time. In the midst of all this, we are in the process of working on getting her evaluated as we think she may be on the spectrum as well.
In the midst of all the meltdowns, the tears, there have been blessings. The friend taking Dak out of the sanctuary during worship at church for me because the music was bothering his ears, and she noticed I needed a break. The friend who followed me into the gym during Sunday school when Dak had a meltdown because she didn’t want me to be alone. The guy from church who came over and cut my grass. The phone calls from friends and family checking to see how I was, and just to talk. Shawna’s Head coach for softball calling to check on us, coming to pick her up for practices and games, my neighbors going to games, and helping out with Dak when they can. Watching the kids laugh and play with their friends on the rare day when we have NOTHING going on. My oldest and her best friend stepping up to watch Dak for one of Shawna’s games because he sat down on the floor and REFUSED to go. My friend coming over to take Photos of Sara before Prom so I could deal with Dak and be SURE we got Photos at the same time.
I am thankful this was only two weeks, and find myself praying for all my fellow Military wives who are going through much longer separations due to deployments, and trying to help a child or children with Autism through said deployment. I find myself Praying for all the families effected by Autism whose routines have been shattered by the Tornado outbreak of April 27,2011. I find myself crying out in sheer exhaustion, my heart breaking for these families who are going through the same meltdowns and stress, on a much bigger scale than my small two weeks.
I caught myself singing this morning as I was doing housework, but unlike the usual songs, today it was something from Finding Nemo…..
Just keep swimming….