Balloons, Bubbles, and Tears

Phew…I am Exhausted! But it’s in a Good way! Today was my son’s Birthday Party. I Had fretted and thought and worked over every last detail since he told me last month that he WANTED a Party this year.  We have never really done a Party for him in the past….sure we have always celebrated His special Day, the Day we were blessed with Him as a precious addition to our family…but a Party? no, He couldn’t handle it…..too many people = instant Meltdown…..too much noise = Instant meltdown….messing up his routine= instant meltdown….so we always just found small special ways to celebrate Him as a Family unit.  So, yeah, when he announced he WANTED a Party, my heart jumped.

I asked Him for a Guest list, not quite sure what the answer would be. He responded with a short list of names, and I cried….not sad tears, but tears of joy! My sweet boy was making connections!!! was making FRIENDS!

so we started Planning….Guests were notified. I decided to make a Fire engine Cake. and the Party was set in motion. Last night, my two daughters and I stayed up well past when I normally send them to bed, baking, frosting, totally destroying the kitchen I had JUST cleaned……

I fussed over every detail….wanted everything “Just right”. It became quickly apparent about 11pm, that we needed to stop for the night and think about getting some sleep, so we put the cake, and icing in the fridge, and headed for bed, after all, it would be a busy Saturday.

I got up early this morning, and after 2 cups of coffee , it was back to working on the cake….

The Finished Cake….

with the Cake done, it was time to focus on the other details. In the back of my mind, thoughts fought for attention with my “to do list”…..”Would he have a meltdown?” ” What if Dak decided He was not in the mood to be Social today?” As I Busied myself with making sure the Bubble toys were filled…and water Balloons, and Pizza was ordered….Barking orders at my girls and my husband, I tried to shut out all the things that COULD go wrong.

Finally Party time arrived, and guests began to show up. Dak was Excited as each car pulled up ” My Friends!! My Friends!!” He yelled as he ran to greet each car that pulled up. Again, tears welled up in my eyes, tears of joy. I thought back to when He was always off to himself, seemingly locked in his own world, and as I watched my 11 year old son running around the yard interacting with a precious chosen few I felt my heart dance. Suddenly all my worries and fears about the day faded away, and I watched, and smiled and captured every moment I could with my Camera…..

As a Mom, I have always enjoyed throwing a Party for my children’s Birthdays…but this one, for me, was different…This Party…was a Milestone. We made it through the day with NO Meltdowns from Dak… the Party wound down, and we said goodbye to friends, gave hugs, and Thank you’s, I started to relax, and sat down at my computer to Unload the Memory Card FULL of Photos I had taken onto my computer…and that’s when I unraveled. I realized that when the Memory Card had beeped at me that it was full, and I had went to delete a Few Photos to clear up some space, I had managed to delete ALL the Photos because I was not focusing on WHAT I was doing…just on trying to rush through it and not miss a moment. It was an INSTANT Meltdown.

My wonderful Husband looked at me like I had lost my mind…He asked me if Dak had enjoyed HIS day? and I nodded, wiping tears away. The Man I have been married to for almost 15 years, then told me to breathe….that the fact that DAK had enjoyed the day was what mattered…and sure, it would be NICE to have the Photos…but not the end of the world. I took a deep breath…He was right, but that really didn’t make ME feel any better! Then he suggested I go ask Google if there was any way to recover deleted Photos….long story short, with the help of Google, a Data recovery Program and my neighbor’s computer…I was able to rescue my precious Photos.

As I was going through the process of recovering from my mistake, I stopped and asked myself WHY I had a meltdown over PHOTOS? I mean Really? The Answer Hit me as I was back at home editing the Photos I had worked so hard to recover……The priceless looks of joy and happiness on Dak’s Face….Dak INTERACTING with Friends…..I may never get an hour long conversation about a Field trip….or know how much fun His Party was…..but I Have the Photos to look at…and a Picture is worth a Thousand words…especially to me…a Parent of a barely Verbal child.


2 thoughts on “Balloons, Bubbles, and Tears

  1. Pingback: Autism Awareness~30 Days of snapshots: Day 2 | Footprints in Time

  2. Pingback: 12 years, Autism, and my camera « Footprints in Time

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