Of Birthday Cakes and Meltdowns

It’s that time of year again….Dak’s Birthday is a month away. He will be 11 this year. We have never really done a “Birthday party” for him as He really doesn’t handle the house full of kids, waiting to open presents, total chaos and fun that is a birthday Party. But this year, I don’t know……I have noticed some changes…He seems more interested in playing with other kids lately, has maybe even made a friend or two……do I take the chance, plan a party and pray that on the day of the Party, It’s a “Good Dak Day”  or just keep things as is…..and the annual Dak and Daddy toys R us trip ….

Birthdays with my girls have always been easy from THAT aspect….they are both social ( the youngest more so than the oldest) but there as never any doubt…Birthdays for them means at least one extra child in the house for at least 2….sometimes as long as 24 hours….with me playing referee, Hostess, Chef, all the while keeping Dak Calm, or on his good days, from being a typical brother and tormenting his sisters and their friends ( though deep inside …while the girl’s protest and I outwardly intercept…I am grateful for those glimpses)

I want to, of course, encourage his budding social skills…and am delighted that on some level He is reaching out and trying to make friends…and even more so that a few kids have responded in kind, and take the time to play with him, and relate to him on a friendship level, rather than just ignore Him …..granted one of the boys He made a connection with, and asks about often…..is in Upstate NY, and we are in Alabama….another thing He does not understand. So how do I , as mom, balance the need for social interaction with the need for stability, Routine, schedules, and the understanding that if he is not in the mood to be social that day, regardless of if its the day his party is planned for or not….He will just go hide , or meltdown……will a handful of 8-12 year old boys understand “Dak is having a bad day, even if it is his birthday, and He just doesn’t want to play today” ?

I Love Birthdays, because to me they are a celebration of the blessings God Gave me when He gave me my children…..and yet, in this case… I want soo badly to celebrate Dak, He IS a Blessing…a wonderful gift….but, how is the best way to do this? I have a month to figure this out……should be an interesting adventure….will keep you posted.