A Mother’s Heart

Struggling with a lot this morning. I know that God never gives me more than I can handle, and I know He will give me the strength I need to get through , yet my heart is screaming out “HELP!” . I am Thankful that God knows something I don’t about myself, because on my own strength I could not handle being a Military wife AND the mother of a Special needs child. I am having one of those weeks ( well two weeks really) where I just want to throw my hands up and say “I can’t DO THIS anymore!” As I was looking online for a poem to share with a friend who is fighting a Battle with the school board for her beautiful Daughter in a wheelchair (http://www.wsfa.com/global/story.asp?s=12959788), I found I was also reminding myself that I CAN get through what I am struggling with. My Faith is in the Lord, and He will supply my needs.

“God doesn’t give children with disabilities to strong people: He gives them to ordinary, everyday people, then He helps the parents to grow stronger through the journey. Raising a child with special needs doesn’t TAKE a special family, it MAKES a special family.”

~Author Unknown~

There are those in my life who for whatever reason can’t, or wont see past my son’s disability…or they blame me for it entirely…I have heard it all….I am a bad mother….Oh he is just spoiled….I don’t love him enough…..you name it, I have heard it, and as He gets older, it gets worse IF I listen to the negative voices around me. I CHOOSE to focus on God’s word, and I CHOOSE to lean on HIS strength. He has blessed me with a Family that is made up of more than just “Blood relatives” but friends who have come into my life who see PAST the disabilities, PAST the meltdowns, they see my SON…a wonderful Blessing, a joy to know.

I started this day out at 4am as I packed my husband off to another weekend away from home….He was gone last weekend too….and then I cried myself back to sleep…only to be awakened to my three children SCREAMING at each other….and my mind asked “why me?” There are other reasons why I am struggling this weekend that I really don’t want to get into here…..just suffice it to say, that my “Poor me” pity party hit HARD yesterday….my birthday….as I found myself looking at the waves crashing around me from all the storms in my life, rather than focusing on Jesus, and I found myself sinking.

As I surfed the web looking for the poem I wanted to share with my friend, I discovered I was finding things that encouraged me as well….things that reminded me that my Faith rests in God, and God alone!

Here are some of the encouraging poems I found……
A meeting was held quite far from Earth!
It’s time again for another birth.
Said the Angels to the LORD above,
This Special Child will need much love.

His progress may be very slow,
Accomplishments he may not show.
And he’ll require extra care
From the folks he meets down there.

He may not run or laugh or play,
His thoughts may seem quite far away,
In many ways he won’t adapt,
And he’ll be known as handicapped.

So let’s be careful where he’s sent,
We want his life to be content.
Please LORD, find the parents who
Will do a special job for you.

They will not realize right away
The leading role they’re asked to play,
But with this child sent from above
Comes stronger faith and richer love.

And soon they’ll know the privilege given
In caring for their gift from Heaven.
Their precious charge, so meek and mild,

by Edna Massionilla
December 1981

One Flaw In Women
Author Unknown
By the time the Lord made woman,
He was into his sixth day of working overtime.
An angel appeared and said,
“Why are you spending so much time on this one?”
And the Lord answered,
“Have you seen my spec sheet on her?
She has to be completely washable,
but not plastic,have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable
and able to run on diet coke and leftovers,
have a lap that can hold four children at one time,
have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee
to a broken heart-and she will do everything
with only two hands.”
The angel was astounded at the requirements.
“Only two hands!? No way!And that’s just on the standard model?
That’s too much work for one day.Wait until tomorrow to finish.”
“But I won’t,” the Lord protested.
“I am so close to finishing this creation that is
so close to my own heart.She already heals herself
when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days.”
The angel moved closer and touched the woman.
“But you have made her so soft, Lord.”
“She is soft,” the Lord agreed,”but I have also made her tough.
You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.”
“Will she be able to think?”, asked the angel.
The Lord replied,”Not only will she be able to think,
she will be able to reason and negotiate.”
The angel then noticed something,and reaching out,
touched the woman’s cheek.”Oops, it looks like you have
a leak in this model.I told you that you were
trying to put too much into this one.”
“That’s not a leak,”the Lord corrected,”that’s a tear!”
“What’s the tear for?” the angel asked.
The Lord said, “The tear is her way of expressing her joy,
her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love,
her loneliness, her grief and her pride.”
The angel was impressed.”You are a genius, Lord.
You thought of everything!Woman is truly amazing.”
And she is!Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness,love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.They stand up to injustice.
They don’t take “no” for an answer when they believe
there is a better solution.They go without
so their family can have.They go to the doctor with a
frightened friend.They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends
get awards.They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They’ll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much
they care about you.The heart of a woman is what makes the
world keep turning.They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideals.They give moral support
to their family and friends.Women have vital things
to say and everything to give.However, If There Is One Flaw In
Women,It Is That They Forget Their Worth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~And This…..is the poem I started out the day looking for……

The Special Mother
by Erma Bombeck 

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit.

This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children.

Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation.

He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

“Armstrong, Beth; son. Patron saint…give her Gerard. He’s used to profanity.”

“Forrest, Marjorie; daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia.”

“Rutledge, Carrie; twins. Patron saint, Matthew.”

Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles, “Give her a handicapped child.”

The angel is curious. “Why this one God? She’s so happy.”

“Exactly,” smiles God, “Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel.”

“But has she patience?” asks the angel.

“I don’t want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she’ll handle it.”

“I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I’m going to give her has his own world. She has to make him live in her world and that’s not going to be easy.”

“But, Lord, I don’t think she even believes in you.” God smiles, “No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect -she has just enough selfishness.” The angel gasps – “selfishness? is that a virtue?”

God nods. “If she can’t separate herself from the child occasionally, she’ll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn’t realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a “spoken word”. She will consider a “step” ordinary. When her child says “Momma” for the first time, she will be present at a miracle, and will know it!”

“I will permit her to see clearly the things I see…ignorance, cruelty, prejudice….and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side”.

“And what about her Patron saint?” asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air.

God smiles, “A mirror will suffice.”


I will close this post with a song by Amy Grant. Amy Grant’s music has been a part of my life since my teen years….from “Father’s eyes” to “El Shadi” to “Stay for a While”. My Brother and Sister and I sang “Friends” the weekend before I left to join the Marines. Her new song “Better than a Hallelujah” has become very special to me…It has helped me as I grieve the loss of my friend David Camp, as I pray for His Family and his Precious Courtney, and it helps me on days like today, when My heart is shattered and I wake up in tears…..

God loves a lullaby in a mother’s tears in the dead of night •
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes •
God loves a drunkard’s cry, the soldier’s plea not to let him die •
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes

We pour out our miseries, God just hears a melody •
Beautiful the mess we are, the honest cries, of breaking hearts •
Are better than a Hallelujah

A woman holding on for life, a dying man giving up the fight •
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes •
Tears of shame for what’s been done •
The silence when the words won’t come •
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes ••

We pour out our miseries, God just hears a melody •
Beautiful the mess we are, the honest cries, of breaking hearts •
Are better than a Hallelujah
Better than a church bell ringing •
Better than a choir singing out, singing out

We pour out our miseries, God just hears a melody •
Beautiful the mess we are, the honest cries, of breaking hearts •
Are better than a Hallelujah

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