sticks and stones may break my bones….

every feel like you can’t do anything right? Like everything you say and do is wrong? Ever feel like people you love and care about don’t listen to you…like you are invisible?

I have been having one of THOSE weeks this week….and It has caused me to stop and think….how my son…who happens to be autistic must feel on a daily basis. He gets upset when He cant fully express what He is trying to say. He melts-down when he gets overwhelmed or when His schedule gets thrown off balance. It Hurts when we feel that nobody is listening, or when things we say get taken out of context and blown WAY out of proportion, how much more frustrating this must be for my son, and others like Him with limited vocabulary, and social skills.

There are people in my life who I have known for 14 years…..who still don’t seem to accept or understand me…I guess I will always be “the outsider”, and I accept that. I know that as long as I live my life to please God, and do my best to raise three Happy, Healthy children, that is ALL I can do, but it still hurts.  How much ore deeply rejection and hurtful words must hurt my son who knows He is different…and struggles to express himself, so He gets treated as though He doesn’t notice…talked about like He is not in the room. He is NOT Deaf…He is NOT dumb…He HEARS and FEELS the rejection and if I am hurting this bad….how much harder it must be for Him.

My son is a wonderful blessing…and His smile and laughter brighten my day! I Only wish others could see past the stereotypes that surround the word “Autism” and SEE the child…but enough of me ranting…below are some quotes I found today that have helped me….

“Many autistics are told that they are broken, diseased, and dysfunctional. This is simply untrue. My wish for all autistics is that they will realize their self-worth and not believe the myth that they are someone that needs fixing.” –Patti Shepard

“God doesn’t give children with disabilities to strong people: He gives them to ordinary, everyday people, then He helps the parents to grow stronger through the journey. Raising a child with special needs doesn’t TAKE a special family, it MAKES a special family.”Author Unknown

“I feel life is a journey and we all have to learn to ride the storm, for some of us it can seem more like a tidal wave, but with every storm the sun eventually comes back out.” -Alyson Bradley

mommy~dearest at The Quirk Factor: Resistance Is Futile, says this:

Autism (with a capital “A”) to me, says that I accept my child wholly. I celebrate his differences and his quirky-ness. I advocate diversity. I try to empower him. I am proud of his successes, no matter how small they seem. I hope he holds onto the compassion he has in his heart into adulthood. I do not think he needs “fixing”. I am proud that he is my son, and sometimes I am humbled by that very same thought.

Awalkabout has this to say about autism (and her children):

Autism means your children approach our world differently. We just need to learn to interface through therapy, play, school, medical interventions, depending on the child’s needs. Give them the tools they need so they can communicate and understand; but I’m not one of those who insist on a cure. Our children have various gifts and instincts that might well be changed if they no longer had autism—I don’t want to lose those.

I am the Child

I am the child who cannot talk. You often pity me, I see it in your eyes. You wonder how much I am aware of — I see that as well. I am aware of much — whether you are happy or sad or fearful, patient or impatient, full of love and desire, or if you are just doing your duty by me. I marvel at your frustration, knowing mine to be far greater, for I cannot express myself or my needs as you do.

You cannot conceive my isolation, so complete it is at times. I do not gift you with clever conversation, cute remarks to be laughed over and repeated. I do not give you answers to your everyday questions, responses over my well-being, sharing my needs, or comments about the world about me. I do not give you rewards as defined by the world’s standards — great strides in development that you can credit yourself; I do not give you understanding as you know it.

What I give you is so much more valuable — I give you instead opportunities. Opportunities to discover the depth of your character, not mine; the depth of your love, your commitment, your patience, your abilities; the opportunity to explore your spirit more deeply than you imagined possible. I drive you further than you would ever go on your own, working harder, seeking answers to your many questions with no answers. I am the child who cannot talk.

I am the child who cannot walk. The world seems to pass me by. You see the longing in my eyes to get out of this chair, to run and play like other children. There is much you take for granted. I want the toys on the shelf, I need to go to the bathroom, oh I’ve dropped my fork again. I am dependant on you in these ways. My gift to you is to make you more aware of your great fortune, your healthy back and legs, your ability to do for yourself. Sometimes people appear not to notice me; I always notice them. I feel not so much envy as desire, desire to stand upright, to put one foot in front of the other, to be independent. I give you awareness. I am the child who cannot walk.

I am the child who is mentally impaired. I don’t learn easily, if you judge me by the world’s measuring stick, what I do know is infinite joy in simple things. I am not burdened as you are with the strifes and conflicts of a more complicated life. My gift to you is to grant you the freedom to enjoy things as a child, to teach you how much your arms around me mean, to give you love. I give you the gift of simplicity. I am the child who is mentally impaired.

I am the disabled child. I am your teacher. If you allow me, I will teach you what is really important in life. I will give you and teach you unconditional love. I gift you with my innocent trust, my dependency upon you. I teach you about how precious this life is and about not taking things for granted. I teach you about forgetting your own needs and desires and dreams. I teach you giving. Most of all I teach you hope and faith. I am the disabled child.

– Author Unknown –