I have been doing a lot of thinking lately….trying to deal with and come to grips with hurtful things that have been said in regards to my son….who just happens to be autistic. In Church the Sunday school lessons and sermons have been focusing on getting to know Christ better….on depending on HIM and not in other people…and that He died to take my rejection and pain away.
as some of you know, there are some in my life ( not going to mention any names) who have really hurt me badly with their words, and lack of acceptance of my son. It is something I have struggled with for 7 years now ( we got the diagnosis when Dakota was almost 3). I have heard it all….from being told He belongs in an institution, to me not loving Him enough to “Oh the only thing wrong with him is that he is spoiled”. I have had to deal with people wanting to spend time with my girls while completely ignoring that Dakota even exists….not even wanting to take the time to get to know Him…and then saying to me ” Oh he wont notice will he?” . Are you kidding me????? He may be Different…but He is NOT dumb…and definitely NOT Less. What hurt the most I think…was that the people acting this way….are family…and the way I was raised…Family accepts you no matter what…and again…i am NOT gonna mention names….those of you who know me really well..know who I am speaking of.
Palm Sunday, I was gripped with an overwhelming realization as I sat in church that I need to forgive….to let go…to pray for the people causing me this pain, and to turn it all over to God….and let me tell you….its NOT easy to do, but with God’s help I am getting there. I am thankful that we have found a church family who has accepted all THREE of my children with open, Loving arms. It has helped me get past my fear of exposing Dakota to new people for fear they might reject Him. I realize now, that while yes….some people cant for whatever reason find the time to learn about Autism, and cant get past the old ways of thought from years past…there ARE people in this world who DO care about my family….about ALL of my children. To my Church Family…both here in Alabama, and up in Upstate NY….I may not say this enough but Each of you is a tremendous blessing to me…and I don’t think words exists to express how much it means to me each time one of you spends time getting to know Dakota. Your love, prayers and support means more to me than any of you could possibly ever know.
To my friends and family who DO sand by me…help when you can…and love and accept ALL my kids…Your words of encouragement…your prayers….EVERYTHING you do…THANK YOU!!!
Just yesterday I had one of the family members who used to ignore Dakota tell me that I must be doing something right because He is doing soo good and asked how He was liking school. I had tears in my eyes as I told this person how good he was doing in school and about Him playing ball and making friends with the neighborhood children. They asked for His ball schedule, and might come see a game!!
I am truly blessed to have a husband who helps with the kids…is VERY involved in their lives…and stands beside me..and loves me, and two Daughters who help with their brother, and who understand that while yes, He IS different…he is NOT less.
I dont really know how to end this note…as I have been kinda rambling….but if you did take the time to read it…and get anything out of it…please pray for me as I press forward in praying for those who hurt me….and remember…God IS Faithful.